by Nikki | Dec 8, 2016 | Blog, Productivity, self-love
Arrggghhh! Stuck again?
Do you have those days (or weeks) when you desperately want to get something done, or a project finished, and you just can’t get yourself to do it? You’re stuck and each time you try to make yourself start you get distracted. Suddenly you’re hungry or thirsty, Facebook is singing it’s siren song, or there’s that email that you simply must answer immediately!
I’ve been stuck for months, totally unable to write blog posts. That’s right – the very thing you’re reading right now. I procrastinate in so many, highly creative ways. A month ago I actually went to the trouble of painting my home office a more ‘cozy’ and calming color so I could write in there. I’d convinced myself that’s what would make it possible to write more easily. Creative procrastinator – that’s me, right here 🙂
That paint job took me 2 weeks to complete in between other work on my list, but since I’d created the belief that I needed that new color to write, nothing even got started. And then when I’d finished painting, it was another two weeks before I actually wrote the first post – and you have probably guessed that it didn’t happen in my home office with the pretty new paint.
So the irony is…
All of the posts I’ve written in the past I wrote over coffee or lunch, in a cafe or restaurant, on a retreat, or at my dining table. I sat down with a warm beverage, a notebook, and a rollerball pen! That’s it! An office – of any hue, either at home or elsewhere, has never been a part of the process, and that’s still true with this post you’re reading right here.
It’s a pretty simple process for me to get myself to write: Notebook? Check. Rollerball? Check. Coffee or snack? Check. Office? No way! Right now I’m at my dining table where I think more clearly, and have none of those pesky interwebs fueled distractions!
So what’s the question, already?
I hear you saying “Nikki, What IS the one question to ask myself when I’m stuck”. Since I promised it to you in the title and the only thing I dislike more than being stuck is click bait, here it is! Ready for the question and five steps to answering it?
WWSWLTD?
“What Would Someone Who Loves Themselves Do?” Just seven simple little words… right? Yes, the words are simple… but the process is not necessarily easy, so I’m going to break it into clear steps for you here.
What would someone who loves themselves do who is stuck not writing blog posts? Considering I’m still traveling the road of learning to deeply love and accept myself (and I fully expect this journey will continue into the foreseeable future – hence my Self-Love Manifesto), in order to ask the question I have to begin by putting myself in the shoes of someone who does – love themselves, I mean. I need to imagine that it’s already true for me, and then sitting in that seat, envision how I would treat myself if that was the case. Like I said, simple – not easy.
Here’s a case study – with your’s truly, front and center
1. I am stuck! Blog posts are my desired goal and I can’t get myself to sit down and write them. My first step is to take a little time to get quiet and listen closely for any internal dialogue. Immediately I hear “it’s hard to write well”, and “who do you think you are trying to make it easy” A quick google search on “it’s hard to write well” gave me over 19 million results! Seems that lot’s of folks agree.
2. So now I’m aware that I have a belief that it’s tough to produce good writing. I just know it’s difficult, and therefore I must grapple with it if I’m going to do it well. Of course, this isn’t necessarily true. It’s certainly a belief I have, but I also know that doesn’t mean that it’s also true. Whether or not it’s true, keeping that belief top-of-mind doesn’t support me having what I want (writing done). It’s actually making it more difficult to approach. So I take look at what beliefs I can suspend here, while I’m considering the question because I think SWLT *someone who loves themselves* would be kinder to herself, would want to do what feels supportive, and would try to make it the whole thing a little easier.
Hang in there… we’re so close
3. So, now instead of thinking “it’s hard to write well”, I start thinking “how do I like to write”. Notice that I’ve defined what seems to cause me the biggest difficulty and removed that condition which radically changes the question. I don’t have to set the condition “write well”. I can write whatever I write, and improve it later, that I already know is a better way to go. The truth is that I actually want to write, and so now it’s a much simpler proposition.
4. The tough part has always been getting myself to sit down to write, even though the writing is something I actually enjoy. So what can I do to make getting to that point more manageable? Now that the question is “how do I like to write?” I actually have an easy answer. I know that my thoughts flow and my pen flies across the page when I find somewhere where I feel cozy, and where I have no internet distractions (eg. large numbers of unread email & 12+ tabs open on my browser).
Spoiler alert…
5. After giving myself a comfy, cozy space to write, the first draft of these words flowed through my fingers into my notebook in 20 minutes. It’s pretty cool – and by cool, I mean very exciting! I have a simple question, that gets me unstuck and that I can use over, and over again.
I keep testing it in my life on the things I still get stuck on, and “What would someone who loves themselves do?” is the question that reliably takes me from I’m stuck to I can do it, and this is exactly how.
So next time you’re stuck, try asking yourself WWSWLTD if they were stuck like you’re stuck now? Tell me what you discover when you try this ‘simple’ question for yourself. I’d love to hear what you were stuck on, and how the one question helped you get unstuck.
by Nikki | Sep 29, 2015 | Blog, Productivity, Successful projects
I know you’d love to bring your BIG IDEA to life. Want a step-by-step plan to get you to your goal? You come up with countless brilliant ideas! You’re a creative, and you want to succeed, but getting from your BIG IDEA to a successful, and profitable project completion isn’t always a simple task, but with help, you can do it.
Make a plan for your BIG IDEA with your free 12-page workbook
Use your workbook:”Bring your BIG IDEA to life”, to make a complete, step-by-step plan for your project, using information you already have. You’ll get amazing clarity on your idea, a list of all the major steps and actions you need to take, know exactly where to begin, and what to do next to keep you making progress. You’ll even have a list of resources to call on if you get stuck.
Use the link below to download your workbook, and print it out and start to make a plan for your project. Find yourself some 2″ x 1.5″ post-it notes, and you’re on your way! Your project or dream may be very complex or quite simple, difficult or easy, yet this process will walk you through breaking it down to relevant and achievable steps, and give you the plan to accomplish it.
You already have the knowledge you need to bring your BIG IDEA to life
My 12-page workbook will guide you from start to finish. Answering the questions in the workbook will lead you through a simple process of creating a complete plan for your project, with a list of each and every action required, as well as a timeline to follow. I love that it’s also a repeatable model. Get your own copy here: Big Idea Workbook. No opt-in required.
Let me know in the comments about your experience of using this workbook, I’d love to hear about your project idea and how you’re making your brilliant idea a reality.
by Nikki | Feb 3, 2015 | Productivity
Get really clear on how you want to feel at the end of today! At the end of your work day, or your entire day what do you want to be experiencing? Do you want more clarity, a sense of accomplishment, to feel more excited, or simply to feel like you’ve successfully checked a whole bunch of things of your list, and so you feel lighter and happier?
Don’t just think about what you want to feel. Let yourself imagine it. Feel it, taste it, smell it. Take yourself into the moments at the end of the day, and really be there with the sensations of this feeling. What do you look like when you feel this? How would someone describe you when you feel this way? What would they see on your face, in your demeanor, in the way you hold yourself, or they way you walk?
Now you’re really clear about what you want, use this feeling to draw you towards it throughout the day.
If you’re going to feel accomplished, what is it going to take to give you that? If you’re in the early stages of writing a book, will having a draft of the outline done give you that feeling. Is it having the first three chapters laid out clearly in draft going to do it? If you have an health goal in your life, and you’re having trouble getting started, what single step would make you feel more accomplished about it? Is it a full day of healthy eating? Begin with the perfect breakfast, and plan the best lunch you can think of. Start now!
If you want to feel more excited about your life by the end of today, begin with a gratitude list of at least three great things about your life, right now. Keep this list with you throughout the day. Be sure to return to it a few times, and add all the teensy things that make your life a little easier, a little happier. Maybe its having a loving pet, or perhaps its appreciating that little remote control to close your garage without getting out of your car. There are so many ways that our lives are enriched by the people and things around us, and you can use those as resources to be happier and more excited, if you only notice them. And happier and more excited people are usually more productive.
Using this method to draw you through your day to your chosen destination feeling, can be a powerful method to remain focused, and add more enjoyment to your workdays. Try it and let me know in the comments what you find. Did this tip help you feel happier, and make your life easier, and give you more productivity?
by Nikki | Jan 14, 2015 | Blog, Motivation, Productivity, Successful projects
More Productivity
This is the third post in my blog series about productivity. You can see the first here, and the second here.
This tip, about getting clear about where to begin, is one to get you organized, so that you know exactly what it is you need to do to actually be productive. What are the physical steps you need to take to make a difference to your to do list, today.
Exactly Where to Begin
If we go back to your BIG list that you created after my previous post, and take a look at the items on the list, you’ll notice that some of them aren’t actually physical steps that you can take. When my clients get the full list written out, and then pay attention to the actual items listed, they begin to notice that some are actually projects, rather than actions that can be taken. So if you have an item on your list like clean out the hall closet, it may well be a project that will take a little organizing before you can complete, or even start it.
If that closet is full of coats, hats and even sports gear that you’ve been meaning to get rid of, then you’ll need to decide on where it’s going. You could donate it all at a thrift store, or sell it on Craigslist, or perhaps donate to the local recreation center – and maybe some of each. All valid options, but also decisions that need to be made before you’ll be able to get the job finished. Until you decide the first physical action that needs to be taken it’s probably unlikely that this one will move off the list.
That Might be a Project
How to know where to being
The hall closet hasn’t stayed full because its a simple task that you don’t want to do, its a little more complex than that, and I would guess that’s why jobs like that don’t get done when you want them to be. Instead of having to consider everything about the task, just to get started on that closet, making a project list is the way to break it down into physical actions. Any task that has multiple steps belongs on your project list. Once its there you then focus on breaking it down into the steps required, and as you can, you add them to your daily to do list (We’ll discuss that one next week).
Once you realize that something is a project, and that there is a series of small and manageable steps that need to be done to get it completed, it becomes much more attainable, and you’ll have the added sense of achievement of crossing a whole lots of steps and the overall project off your project list. And as the steps are small, you’ll be much likely to take one of those simple steps more quickly and easily, instead of trying to bite off more than you can chew, by trying to tackle the whole closet in one step.
Any project will seem much more manageable when you break it down into simple physical actions, and then make a start on those actions. As you get more clarity on your projects and tasks, you’ll notice that where to begin becomes clear and simple. Share your thoughts or experience in the comments below if you’ve tried this. I’d love to hear how its working for you.
by Nikki | Jan 7, 2015 | Productivity, Thoughts
A Little More Productivity
Following on from my first post about Productivity, we’re now going to start at the very beginning, making more space in your psyche for a new way of being, thinking, having and creating.
Have you every noticed the giant ‘to do’ list living in your mind, using up your precious brain power? Little things like getting the car washed, sending thank-you cards, or doing your bookkeeping, or organize your taxes. They’re sometimes things that don’t have to be done, but would make a difference to the quality of your life if you completed them. Others are MUST DO tasks that simply are not fun, and need some time, and a bit more thought.
Every Little Thing
Your task here is to write every little (or big) thing that needs to be done on your list! Every task, idea, thought, plan, & goal that comes to mind. No matter how big, or how trivial an item might seem – get it on this list, stream of consciousness style. You’re not trying to organize anything here, just unload it all. This is a big time brain-dump!
I invite my group coaching clients to do this exercise at the very beginning of our groups, and it never fails to amaze me (and them) how long the list is. How many seemingly trivial, and often easy, tasks are on the list, that they can get done often during the weeks that the group is meeting. Sometimes the list includes tasks like dropping something off, picking things up, or other tasks that can be scheduled into a normal day with a little extra time, and just an ounce of planning.
“Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
The Magic List
My clients often end up referring to it as their magic list. Once an item is on your list, it’s at least 50% more likely that it will get done. The morning after the first meeting of my last group coaching program, a client sent me the following message: “Shockingly, I’m already doing two things that I put on the list. One has been there for 5 years, and the other for a year! Magic list!”. Don’t underestimate what you might get from this exercise.
This is what I refer to as the MAGIC of coaching. Simply setting an intention sets your being in motion, wanting to get it completed, but there is somehow something else begun, that seems to conspire to help us get those tasks done, or those ideas on a path to completion, and increasing your productivity.
This is an Awareness Practice. Setting your mind free, and putting all of those annoyances, and irritations, and flashes of inspiration on the list. Get them out of your head, and somewhere they’ll be remembered and acted upon when the moment is right.
Where is Not Important
Your list doesn’t need to be in a special book, although I encourage you to create a place where you can find it easily, and add to it as new thoughts emerge. Things that we want done, or know need to be done tend to nudge at our minds, seeking to be remembered, if not yet put into action. Those nudges take up your precious psychic space. That’s your brain power being utilized in a the least productive way.
Keep this list with you. Whether it’s in a notebook, or on at least one of your portable devices, keep it handy. Rather than “I’ll get to that later”, when an idea strikes you, immediately add it to the list, and be sure to cross out those that are done. Thank your brain for the inspiration, by relieving it of its burden. As this becomes a habit, you’ll find you have more focus, as well as those little (& big) tasks getting completed, as if by magic.
Did you find this helpful? Tell us let us know in the comments below. Maybe you’ve tried this in the past and found tricks that lead to even more productivity. Please share with us in the comments, so we can all benefit from your wisdom.
by Nikki | Dec 30, 2014 | Blog, Motivation, Productivity
Productivity Increases with Awareness
Few of my thoughts on productivity are unique. What you will find to be different in the way I think about productivity is that awareness and self-compassion are the two most important factors. This may surprise you, but pushing myself to do something when I really am in a space to be doing a totally different task, is counter-productive. That’s right; it’s the opposite of productivity, and I don’t want to be doing that to myself, when instead I could be actually getting something crossed off my list.
Take this post for example. I wanted to write this yesterday (and for a few days before that, but let’s stick with yesterday). When I tried to imagine writing yesterday, I found myself feeling stuck, and very resistant. I don’t know about you, but my thoughts don’t flow when I’m feeling resistant. I also find it difficult to focus on a topic, and am very easily distracted. So, I let go of my attachment to getting this done yesterday (and the other days), and let myself do what my attention span was more attuned to in that moment, which was some online education. And I was productive at that. I learned about a topic that was interesting, and useful for me, and with that knowledge I could begin a project that had been on the back burner for a few weeks. And most importantly I enjoyed it all. Productivity without fun is no productivity at all.
For me it includes the following steps:
Noticing: The first step is noticing that I’m not actually doing what it is I set out to do. Sometimes I do that actively, and other times it sneaks up on me, and I’m way into a mindless task that is not the one on the list, before I notice. When it happens that way I usually giggle at myself, (that’s self-compassion at a work) I know it’s then time to review what’s going on with me, in that moment.
Breathing: Pausing and taking a few deep breaths, I now let myself become aware of my mental and/or emotional state. I’m not someone who focuses deeply all the time, although I can. I get distracted at the best of times, but with this practice, there’s no need to punish myself for this behavior (which would be pointless anyway). In fact, beating myself up is just another a time suck. It’s also demotivating and entirely counter-productive. Instead, taking a moment to feel what’s going inside, helps me choose the best way to proceed (the awareness piece in action). Sometimes getting back to with the task at hand with more awareness is what’s required, though often it’s not, but letting myself work on another task, for which my current mental or emotional state is better suited.
Begin: Next I just simply get started on the job I’ve decided is the best fit for me for now. It may be a small job that will enable me to feel a sense of achievement by crossing something off my list, or something that will actually help me get prepared for the avoided task. Whatever it is, I know I’ve chosen it carefully and I commit to it. After its done, I can then review once more, and see if I’m ready to get back to the task I’d planned for this time.
Rinse & Repeat: And my day continues. Sometimes I’m achieving the larger tasks, and sometimes getting the little things done. But through all of it, I’m feeling good about myself, making conscious choices, and because of that, I’m being more productive.
There is no replacement for being kind to myself when I’m not accomplishing exactly that I have set out to do. Plenty of the events in my life can leave me feeling beaten down, and I don’t want to be adding to that burden. I suggest you offer loving support to yourself, rather than being a nasty taskmaster. As a bonus, in time I imagine you’ll come to like yourself more.
I’ve set out to discover other ways that can support me in getting more done, rather than simply feeling constantly busy, rushed, and overwhelmed by how much I still have to do. Many of the ideas that I’ll share in coming posts are designed to help you to be in charge of those parts of the mind that keep you from getting things done. Sometimes we just need to trick ourselves to increase our productivity, and sometimes all it takes is to get ourselves into the right place, with the right tools.
Decide to give this practice a try, and I bet you’ll notice that your commitment to it will help keep you moving forward and enjoying more productivity, and perhaps even enjoying the process more. I hope some of my ideas help you achieve more productivity in your life.
Leave me a comment about what you learn about yourself, as you begin to practice. And if what I share here on my blog gets you wanting to know more, book in for a free 30 minute Discovery Session. I’d love to meet you, and share ways that coaching could make a difference for you.
